False Advertising: When "free" means $20

Today, I headed to The Sunburnt Cow hoping to indulge in the enticing offer shown below. Ultimately, my most fruitful takeaway was an example of a food PR event went awry.















Know your limits. How many places can really put out free food all day long? Sunburnt Cow, you overshot your limits this time. Most people probably approached this event with wary, afraid that it was too good to be true. And oh, it was.

Use the word "free" with caution. This is New York City. Dog whistles don't even work as well as this honing signal.

Deliver what you promise. The advertisement of "Free Food All Day Long!" turned out not to be free, and the food ran out completely by 5pm.

Communicate a set standard of rules. If I can see the poster with the word "Free" mentioned twice, yet you tell me to fork over $20 for unlimited food and drinks, I have a right to call you out on it. After asking the manager and finding out that no drinks and a plate of food would be $10, I hardly consider that "free food all day long".

You are only human, but so are we. The goal of putting on a food event is to get your name out there and attract more customers, after all. After the mishap with the false advertising, receiving disdained looks from the staff is just adding insult on top of injury. I forgive you for wanting to profit, for having slight miscommunication, for even running short on food. I don't forgive you for shunning a potential future customer.

The worst part is that this happens quite often, usually at small venues due to disorganization. Word to the wise, only trust what a restaurant is willing to put on their website or spread out to the public. The point is not to avoid celebrations, but to just execute it well. The food was enjoyable, for the most part. I just left with a bitter taste in my mouth from the overall experience. That's fine, a cupcake will wash it all down.

Triple Food Fail

Tuesdays are my Long Days. You know how everyone has those days that are just a little more jam-packed than others? Mine's Tuesday. I work a half day at one internship, then move onto another one until 8pm. I enjoy both, but I'm a little dead to the world when I get home.

But sometimes, all I want is (surprise, surprise) good food to pick me up.

This particular Tuesday, I had been looking forward to Momofuku Milk Bar. I heard about the new soft serve flavors during my Texas vacation and was dying to try them. I had my heart set on it, so it was all I could do to stop myself from running and skipping to Momofuku.

BUT THEN I SAW BUTTS. ON CHAIRS.

And I knew something was up.


Here's the deal, Momofuku milk bar is standing room only. Chairs are a bad omen. What does that mean for me? It means private event, which means no Momofuku for Melissa. My crushed look must have attracted the attention of a worker near the door, who kindly placated us dejected folks with some of the day's leftover cookies.

I stood blankly at the corner of 2nd ave and 13th street, watching the people go in and out of Momofuku Ssam. I experienced that moment where I was so set on something that I didn't even bother with a back-up plan. At an utter loss, my friend and I decided to check out a new ramen place near St. Mark's, but then changed directions and headed to Otafuku, the little hole in the wall that sells takoyaki (Japanese street eats: delicious octopus balls).

BUT THEN THERE WAS SILENCE IN THE STORE. WHY?

"We're out"

I think my jaw dropped. I've been a patron here for years and never have they run out before. My friend steered me down the road towards our final destination. Chocolate solves everything.

BUT THEN THERE WERE BOARDED WINDOWS AND AN EMPTY BUILDING.

Seems like the second ave Max Brenner closed down while I was MIA.

However, good ol' Union Square Max Brenner was open, thank goodness. I was about at the end of my rope here. I couldn't believe my luck! However, the night was not over.

My friend got a ice cream sandwich and a chocolate martini, and I happily ordered the Popsicle fondue, eager for my sugar fix.


BUT OUR WAITRESS HESITATES. OH NO, WHY AREN'T YOU WRITING?

She gives me an apologetic look and tells me that the Israeli supplier has not given them shipments for 2 weeks.


I couldn't believe what she was saying. Either my brain was still processing what she said, or paralyzed from lack of sugar for more than 3 hours. In any case, she quickly offered up a solution, which was to give me scoops of ice cream and the toppings on the side. Same concept, slightly different execution. It ended up being less messy than the popsicle and a little less expensive too. Check out their entire dessert menu here.

Luck didn't seem to be on my side that day, but all things considering, I ended up with a better ice cream deal a la carte and a free Momofuku cookie. Munching on the cookie now, I think that plans can go awry and still end up memorable, if nothing else.

Lesson learned. Now give me back my luck. ;)